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December 2024

Santa’s Gift List for Media Players Naughty and Nice

❄ Happy Holidays from MLRC ❄

By George Freeman
TOPICS :

To Sen. Tom Cotton: Mud, for being such a Stick in the Mud for single-handedly scuttling the PRESS ACT in the Senate.

To the White House Press Corps: Strong glasses, to help see over the head of conservative podcasters blocking your view.

To Pollsters: A dartboard to make their predictions since throwing a dart might be as accurate as their conventional methodology. 

To Olivia Nuzzi: A tape of the recent MLRC Annual Dinner to show her what she missed.

To Journalists: A Christmas Miracle of a federal shield law. 

To Joe Biden: An honorary gavel for his unshakable respect for the rule of law. Oops, never mind. 

To the White House Press Corps: Irrevocable passes to the White House briefing room. 

To Jeff Bezos and Patrick Soon-Shiong, owners of the WashPost and LA Times: Letters of endorsements from their Editorial Boards. Whoops, they don’t write those anymore. 

To Donald Trump: A pencil with an eraser, to make it easier for him to cheat on his golf scorecard.

To the DNC: A dictionary to look up the difference between “sharp as a tack” and “dementia.”

To Elon Musk: A prenup for his inevitable breakup with Donald Trump. 

To Ellen DeGeneres and other celebs going into exile: A care package of NYC bagels and pizza to tide them over the next 4 years. 

To Evan Gershkovich: Caviar and vodka to celebrate his release from illegal detention in Russia. 

RFK, Jr: A copy of his uncle’s Profiles in Courage, so he can learn to act normally, if not courageously. 

To Pam Bondi: An MLRC membership so she can learn how valuable the role of journalists in our society is before she does away with the DOJ Guidelines.

To Rachel Maddow: A rural country house in the District of Columbia, so she can return to work five days a week and rescue MSNBC’s flagging ratings.

To Special Counsel Jack Smith: A copy of Moby Dick as a reminder that sometimes the whale gets away. 

To Marco Rubio and Pete Hegseth: An atlas of the world, as a beginning lesson on how to do their new jobs.

To the ABC fact-checkers: A speedwriting course so that they can keep up with all the falsehoods spewed by Trump.

To Joe Biden and Donald Trump: Directions to the Fountain of Youth.

To former FOX journalists: New stationery with “1600 Pennsylvania Avenue” emblazed on top.

Govs. Abbott and DeSantis:Huckleberry Finn, Catcher in the Rye and other classics, so they can read the very books they are trying to ban.

To Gov. Tim Walz: A participation trophy. 

To Sarah Palin: Quality time with beau Ron Duguay instead of pursuing her weak defamation case. 

To the Cats & Dogs of Springfield, Ohio: Catnip and Bad Spaniels toys. 

To Donald Trump: A get out of jail free card signed by Chief Justice Roberts. Wait, he already has that. 

To Tom Brady: A cut in his $375 million contract until he learns to say something interesting in his role as football announcer.

To Stephen A. Smith: A cut in his $20 million salary until he says something fact-based and in a normal voice as a sports commentator on ESPN.

To Donald Trump: A TV program about the Constitution, since he seems incapable of reading and understanding it.

To the Justices of SCOTUS: A copy of MLRC’s 50-State Survey of Libel and Privacy in the event the Court takes its first media content case in a quarter of a century.

To my wife Annie: heartfelt thanks for supporting and helping me throughout this challenging year.

And, finally, I wish our loyal readers and members a very happy and healthy new year, with high hopes that ’25 will be a better year than expected.

Allbest,

George Freeman
Executive Director, Media Law Resource Center